S03E22 When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

Peter prays for a Jewish person to help him with his money woes. After befriending a Jewish accountant, Max Weinstein, and discovering the wonders of their religion, Peter gets the idea of converting Chris to Judaism as soon as possible so he'll be successful in life, but Lois tries to stop him.

S03E21 Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

Brian and Stewie host a special episode of Family Guy, featuring three non-canon stories created from viewer requests.
No Bones About It - A genie comes to Peter to grant him wishes; his last wish makes it so that he has no bones and must deal with life as a lump of lard.
Supergriffins - The Griffins are exposed to nuclear waste and gain superpowers, which lead them to terrorize the city.
Li'l Griffins - Tot-like versions of Peter and Quagmire try to out-brave each other in a haunted house to impress Lois in this Little Rascals parody.

S03E20 Road to Europe

Stewie becomes obsessed with a British kids' show and runs away to be part of the cast, and Brian gives chase in an attempt to bring him back. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois go to see a Kiss concert, where Lois reveals she knows nothing about the band, much to Peter's humiliation.

S03E19 Stuck Together, Torn Apart

Peter and Lois are advised to go through a trial separation after Peter becomes jealous over Lois reuniting with an old boyfriend, and he hooks up with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian get stuck together after Stewie plays around with industrial-strength glue.

S03E18 From Method to Madness

Stewie signs up for an acting class, where he's paired up with a stuck-up child star named Olivia. They become a hit, though the fame quickly sets in and they soon start bickering. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois object to Meg dating a nudist, though later have second thoughts after seeing her upset.

S03E17 Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

Brian gets a DUI and is forced to care for a bitter, old woman who used to be a jingle singer. After discovering the woman's brighter past, Brian tries to brighten her life. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and discovers that a family of rare swallows have housed themselves in it.

S03E16 A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

It's Christmas time in Quahog, a time when Lois' plans for a perfect Christmas blow up in her face, causing her to break down and go berserk. Stewie uses his role as the baby Jesus in the town play to be good for Santa, about whom he has become paranoid, and to bring Lois back to Earth.

S03E15 Ready, Willing, and Disabled

Joe feels discouraged after failing to catch a thief during a chase, so Peter tries to get his self-confidence back by entering him in a handicapped people's decathlon, but with Joe still helpless, he rigs his drinks with steroids. Meanwhile, Chris, Meg and Stewie fight over $26 in a money clip.

S03E14 Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?

While teaching Chris about his Irish heritage, Peter discovers that he has a black ancestor. When this affects his social status and he finds out that his ancestor was a slave to Lois's family, Peter fights back. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to learn mind control from the school cheerleaders.

S03E13 Screwed the Pooch

The family visits Lois' parents, the Pewterschmidts, where Brian takes out all of his pent-up sexual energy on the Pewterschmidts' prize-winning racing greyhound, Sea Breeze. A custody battle then ensues when Sea Breeze is revealed to be pregnant, and Brian is threatened to be neutered.

S03E12 To Love and Die in Dixie

The family moves to the deep South when a criminal threatens to kill Chris for witnessing his crime. There Chris befriends a kid named Sam, whom he is forbidden to see by Sam's father when Peter questions the accuracy of a Civil War reenactment. But there seems to be more to Sam than meets the eye...

S03E11 Emission Impossible

After delivering Lois's sister's newborn child, Lois and Peter decide to have another baby, prompting Stewie to do whatever he can to stop it, even if it means shrinking himself and wiping out every sperm in Peter's testicles. However, when he meets a sperm just like himself, Stewie begins to reconsider.

S03E10 A Fish Out of Water

After nearly two weeks of unemployment, Peter decides to begin a new career as a fisherman, but faces problems when he has to pay off a boat loan, so he tries to catch the bounty for a legendary fish. Meanwhile, Lois takes Meg to the beach for spring break, but Lois ends up having more fun than Meg.

S03E09 Mr. Saturday Knight

Peter's boss, Mr. Weed, dies during a dinner with the Griffin family, and the toy factory is demolished as a result. Now unemployed, and failing to find himself other jobs, Peter decides to live his dream of being a Renaissance fair jouster, where he must defend his family's honor from his jerkwad idol.

S03E08 The Kiss Seen Around the World

Meg applies for an internship at Quahog 5 (due to her crush on news anchor Tom Tucker), but so does the annoying Neil. When she is reluctantly driven to kiss Neil, he broadcasts the word of their "love" on the news. Meanwhile, a bully learns not to mess with Stewie when he steals his new tricycle.

S03E07 Lethal Weapons

Lois takes tae-jitsu lessons to fight back against the leafers (New York tourists) overtaking the town, but worries that her violence may be a bad influence on her family. When anger management only makes everyone even more angry, they engage in an all-out brawl to get it out of their system.

S03E06 Death Lives

On their wedding anniversary, Peter sends Lois all over Quahog on a scavenger hunt so he can go play golf. But when Peter gets struck by lightning and has a near-death experience, he meets Death again, who explains to Peter his marriage is in trouble if he doesn't have a revelation, and fast.

S03E05 And the Wiener Is...

Peter is intimidated by Chris's larger penis and then becomes very self-conscious about his own manhood, joining a gun club to make himself feel more masculine. Meanwhile, Meg becomes a flag-girl, and when she is humiliated by the popular kids at school, Lois devises a plan for revenge.

DEAD LINK (WILL UPDATE SOON, STAY TUNED)

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S03E04 One If by Clam, Two If by Sea

Everything in town is destroyed in Quahog after a hurricane—except the Drunken Clam, which is turned into a British pub by a man who becomes the Griffins' new neighbor. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to teach his new neighbor's crass English daughter how to drop her cockney accent and speak properly.

S03E03 Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

The toy factory at which Peter works is taken over by a cigarette company who hires Peter as the new president. He is then sent to Washington, D.C. as a lobbyist so they can create toys that encourage kids to smoke, and the entire family can't help but enjoy the perks that come with the job.